Friday, 14 November 2008

DEAD MEN'S FORESKINS

I'm not one for petitions and such. Political activism is not my style, nor do I wish to make it so. An occasional letter to a newspaper, this blog, and commenting on a few others (see Blogroll) is as far as I could be bothered to go. I have a minimum of readers (anywhere from a couple to about 30 on any given day), and that suits me just fine as I have a “real” job to do and need to do it in order to eat, and endless back-and-forth bantering in the manner of a “your-muvver-wears-army-boots”, biggus dickus pissing contest up the walls of a virtual and intangible world would very possibly entice me to take up bashing puppies* as a means of relief.

I have a life and wish to live it, unhindered by the witless blatherings of ideological idiots from all sides of the coin, political and religious, whose sole purpose in life appears to be fapping and farting about in an obsessive-compulsive manner tediously trying to "correct the thinking" of their so-called "opponents" in righteousness.

Don't darken my fucking towels and I won't darken yours. Understand?

However, moved, nay, shaken to the very core of my withered and hateful so-called “lefty” soul by
Jack Marx's blog of November 14, 2008, I have taken the examples he has so generously provided, and added a brief preamble to what is, essentially, a petition that should be presented to an individual who appears to be making herculean efforts to prove himself a cockless and deluded, dribbling little moron.

Feel free to pinch it, adapt it or revise these words in any manner you wish and use them for your own commie-pinko, gay-loving, foetus-killing revolutionary purposes ...

Viva what-fucking-ever.

*A figure of speech. Get a fucking grip, tools.

DEAR SENATOR CONROY,

We, the undersigned, wish to draw your attention to what we feel is material, freely available to all and sundry, both in print and via the electronic media, which is highly unsuitable in nature not only for adults, but for the children of this nation over whom it is our prime responsibility in life to protect from such disgusting and pernicious filth.

This material, examples of which are provided below (a) encourages and approves of rape for profit (b) the disfiguring of the female body (c) dismemberment (d) homophobia and the murder of homosexuals (e) the wholesale slaughter of boys and women (f) the torture of animals (g) mariticide (h) gang rape and uxoricide (i) genital mutilation and trading and profiting from same (j) cannibalism (k) infanticide (l) child abuse by assault and battery (m) incest.

This material is currently disseminated, craftily disguised as "teaching" or "moral instruction", in Sunday schools and churches across the nation, high schools and universities, public retreats and private homes. It is available, uncensored and unrestricted, in book stores, public libraries, school libraries, reading rooms, hotel and motel rooms, and it can be instantly accessed via computer in any room or home that has an internet connection, whether dial-up or broadband.

We call upon you to investigate this matter post-haste, as a matter of extreme urgency, and to take any and all appropriate steps available to you in your current capacity as the responsible senator to put an end to the dissemination of such material as this, which, in our opinion as responsible and respectable citizens of this grand, great and fundamentally decent country, may be a potential cause of extreme trauma and lasting psychological damage, not to mention a probable motivating factor in future criminal activity to and by our nation's most precious resource, our children.

a) The encouragement and approval of rape for profit:

If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay the girl’s father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the girl, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives. - Deuteronomy 22:28-29

(b) Dismemberment:

With the reward he got for his wickedness, Judas bought a field; there he fell headlong, his body burst open and all his intestines spilled out. - Acts 1:8

(c) The willful disfigurement of the female body:

If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity. - Deuteronomy 25:11-12

(d) Homophobia and the murder of homosexuals:

If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads. - Leveticus 20:13

(e) The wholesale and motiveless slaughter of boys, girls and women:

“Now kill all the boys. And kill every woman who has slept with a man, but save for yourselves every girl who has never slept with a man.” - Numbers 31:17-18

(f) The torture of animals:

So he went out and caught three hundred foxes and tied them tail to tail in pairs. He then fastened a torch to every pair of tails, lit the torches and let the foxes loose in the standing grain of the Philistines..- Judges 15:4-5

(g) Mariticide:

But Jael, Heber’s wife, picked up a tent peg and a hammer and went quietly to him while he lay fast asleep, exhausted. She drove the peg through his temple into the ground, and he died. - Judges 4:21

(h) Gang rape, uxoricide and subsequent dismemberment:

But the men would not hearken to him: so the man took his concubine, and brought her forth unto them; and they knew her, and abused her all the night until the morning: and when the day began to spring, they let her go. Then came the woman in the dawning of the day, and fell down at the door of the man’s house where her lord was, till it was light. And her lord rose up in the morning, and opened the doors of the house, and went out to go his way: and, behold, the woman his concubine was fallen down at the door of the house, and her hands were upon the threshold. And he said unto her, Up, and let us be going. But none answered. Then the man took her up upon an ass, and the man rose up, and gat him unto his place. And when he was come into his house, he took a knife, and laid hold on his concubine, and divided her, together with her bones, into twelve pieces, and sent her into all the coasts of Israel. - Judges 19:25-29

(i) Genital mutilation and the trading and profiting from same:

David and his men went out and killed two hundred Philistines. He brought their foreskins and presented the full number to the king so that he might become the king’s son-in-law. Then Saul gave him his daughter Michal in marriage. - 1 Samuel 18:27

(j) Cannibalism:

“Come and gather together for the supper of the great God, that you may eat the flesh of kings, the flesh of captains, the flesh of mighty men, the flesh of horses and of those who sit on them, and the flesh of all people, free and slave, both small and great.” - Revelation 19:17-18

So we boiled my son, and ate him. And I said to her on the next day, ‘Give your son, that we may eat him’; but she has hidden her son.” - 2 Kings 6:29


(k) Infanticide:

Happy the one who takes and dashes your little ones against the rock! .- Psalms 137:9

(l) Child abuse by assault and battery:

Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. You shall beat him with a rod, and deliver his soul from hell. .- Proverbs 23:13-14

(m) Incest:

And the firstborn said unto the younger, Our father is old, and there is not a man in the earth to come in unto us after the manner of all the earth: Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father. And they made their father drink wine that night: and the firstborn went in, and lay with her father; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose. And it came to pass on the morrow, that the firstborn said unto the younger, Behold, I lay yesternight with my father: let us make him drink wine this night also; and go thou in, and lie with him, that we may preserve seed of our father. And they made their father drink wine that night also: and the younger arose, and lay with him; and he perceived not when she lay down, nor when she arose. - Genesis 19:31-35

Thank you for your kind attention in this matter, and we look forward to your prompt response.

Yours Sincerely, etcetera.

2 comments:

Jack Dorf said...

Thanks Ross. I've had concerns about this book and some of the sites it has spawned upon the web.

Hopefully our elected representatives will see sense and put the needs of our precious children in front of these misbegotten leftist ideals like freedom of expression!

Ross Sharp said...

That site - pure, unadulterated genius.