THE TONGUE COMMANDMENTS

This morning I woke up and declared myself a God. Why not? It beats a cup of coffee.

Anyway, now that I’m a God, you have to follow all these rules …

1. Thou shalt not Twitter. Twittering art for tools. Twitter not.

2. Don’t forget to breathe.

3. Thou shalt not read Shakespeare, rather, thou shalt speak it, for that was the purpose for which it was wrote.

4. Do something else.

5. In matters of art, do not condemn thyself as a fool by claiming that thou “couldst have done that”. If thou couldst have done it, thou wouldst of done it. Thou did not. They did.

6. Thou shalt devote at least one day of rest in a year to the watching of Marx Brothers movies. Give sport a rest.

7. Melancholia is not an illness. Take brief occasions of time to be so afflicted and reflect upon regrets on the things that may have been but were not, or the things that were that went wobbly. It will pass.

8. Place thy words upon, and speak with and through thy breath and not through thy throat for thy breath is open and thy throat is closed.

9. Forsake all ideologies and indulge not in belief. Be lief what thou art and only what thou art and be no other.

10. Enough with the shoes or shirts already. Buy thyself a very nice hat and wear it often. Thou shalt feel splendid and rather spiffy.

These rules work better than all the other rules do, so obey these ones and not those other ones. Those other ones are shit.

I’m a God, so I should know.

You need to go and find me some girls now and send them to me so that I may bless them. I’d like to bless them somewhere private, so go and build me a big shed or a barn or whatever. With big heavy doors.

Yes. A dungeon would be nice. I’ll pick out some shackles.

A nook? I can’t bless girls in a nook. I’m a God. God’s don’t lurk about in fucking nooks … Oh, alright. If it’s only temporary. Leave some towels out. And a bowl?

Why are you eating fish? You should eat fish tomorrow.

…

…

…

That’s a nice lamp.

I’ll have that.

OUT OF OFFICE, OUT OF MIND

"Office 2" from Catch The Fire Ministries writes ...

I know President Obama is not Muslim, but I am tempted nevertheless to think that he is, as are most Muslims I know.

Most of the Muslims you know are Muslim?

Well, bugger me. What a shock.

The things you learn from the interwebs.

WHEN YOU’RE SLAPPED, YOU’LL STAY SLAPPED

A self-taught Muslim cleric says some idiotic things, thereby revealing himself to be an idiotic individual, the Islamic equivalent of a Pastor Fred W. Phelps perhaps.

"Self-taught" says it all, really. Imagine being a "self-taught" nuclear physicist at a job interview ...

"And what are your qualifications?"

"Oh, I don't have any formal qualifications. I just learnt myself real good."

"I see."

"..."

"..."

"Atoms are small."

"Yes. Quite."

... If every political or religious cracker who ever yearned for a platform from which to spout their particular brand of lunatic bullshit were given equal time in the media, then our media (such as it is) would come more and more to resemble the rabble-rousing histrionics of an Andrew Bolt blog.

Unfortunately, every fuckwit within coo-ee of a microphone who happens to identify as Islamic, and tries to pass their religion off as justification for their fuckwittery is fair game for a few slabs worth of headlines, especially from the typists at Murdoch's toilet-paper tabloids who are always on the lookout for an opportunity for a new belch of dark-people panic. Not to mention an invitation to "outraged Aussies" to post "their say" on such matters, which they inevitably clamour to do and do with such admirable clarity of point, too …

The thing about Muslim clerics and their apologists in the leftist (read “ABC") media is that we don’t get to hear half of the rotten things they *leave out* of their toxic sermons. “Preparing bread on the stove” is she? Notice the complete lack of Sea Kittens in this picture?

Either the Muslims don’t cook Sea Kittens - which would be a complete rejection of the prophet Jesus, whose friends were fishermen - or they *do* cook Sea Kittens anddon’t want us to know about it!

Which is the more sinister?

Preparing bread on the stove. Yeah right. Not likely, unless that bread is going toward Barak Obabma’s hamburger which he ate on Air Force One (Obama’s hamburger, Tim. Seriously, “I ham what I ham.” Friday’s blog).

Barak Obama eating a hamburger (not a Sea Kitten, note) prepared by the wife of a Muslim cleric - in an unforgivable affront to the Jewish and Christian faiths! No! Just the Jewish one. Wait! Which one doesn’t eat ham again? Oh yeah, the Muslims.

bill of sydney (Reply)
Fri 23 Jan 09 (05:28am)

Fuckin' hell. I thought "bill" of sydney was a cafe. I'm never eating there again.

Why must so much of the media devote so much of its time and energies to breathlessly reporting the rantings and ravings of ignorant imbeciles like Samir Mohtadi as if those rantings and ravings mattered a damn to anyone with an ounce of common sense?

Rather than engage, argue or attempt to place such comments in any type of perspective as there is no perspective in which they can be placed unless you're a retard, the appropriate response is an offhand dismissal of the man as an utter fucking moron yabbering utterly moronic things to a small bunch of other utter fucking morons who've got nothing better to do with their time.

And, having done so, we may then move on to news of actual import and get on with the business of living in the world.

Here endeth the lesson.

ATTACK OF THE WEEING WOMEN’S BABY-KILLING ALIEN ACID PEE!!!!

According to the president of the International Federation of Catholic Medical Associations …

“The pill "has for some years had devastating effects on the environment by releasing tonnes of hormones into nature" through female urine”

"We have sufficient evidence to state that a non-negligible cause of male infertility in the West is the environmental pollution caused by the pill," he said, without elaborating further.

You can’t make this stuff up.

Although it gives good material for a catchy headline.

THIS YOGHURT KILLS BABIES

I wrote this a while back (October 2007) on a blog that no longer exists (an early effort), however, in light of poor old Andrew’s mournful whining today about poor old Kevin Andrews, an apparently “cautious and deep[ly] Christian” fellow and an “honest man”, I thought it an apt and dandy time for a recycle …

Oh, those were the days, my friends, those were the days …

We thought they'd never end.

THIS YOGHURT KILLS BABIES (REDUX)

On the ABC television program "Insiders" of August 5, 2007, host Barrie Cassidy interviewed Kevin Andrews, the current Federal Minister for Immigration about his decision to deport Dr Mohamed Haneef on the basis of allegations that Haneef had been mucking it up and hooning about with some of those despicable terrorists we're forever being 'lerted and 'larmed about. Of course, most of these allegations have now been widely discredited and dismissed, and the good Minister Andrews in his desperately clumsy attempts to convince us all that his accusations were justified continues to reveal himself to be a man whose grey matter appears to comprise little else than a few dusty tumbleweeds and a blowfly.

And, aside from those pesky Indian doctors, Andrews ain’t too keen on foreign black folks either.

However, at the tail end of the interview, Cassidy began to ask Andrews about another matter entirely ...

Broadcast: 05/08/2007

BARRIE CASSIDY: I also read this morning that you are an adviser and an honorary patron to the radical - as it's described in the newspaper - radical pro-life group Life Decisions International. Is that true?

KEVIN ANDREWS: Look, I've been a patron, the Americans used the word "honorary adviser" because in America a patron is someone who pays money. I've been a patron of a pro-life organisation for about 10 years.

BARRIE CASSIDY: This group advocates economic boycotts against companies producing contraceptive pills. Is that something that you support?

KEVIN ANDREWS: Can I say, I'm a patron. I'm not involved and have never been involved in the day-to-day operation of the organisation. I'm, you know, patron of a variety of organisations.

BARRIE CASSIDY: But as a patron you lend your support to that organisation?

KEVIN ANDREWS: That's right.

BARRIE CASSIDY: And you wouldn't put your name to it unless you supported their tactics, and their tactics are to support an economic boycott against companies like GlaxoSmithKline, for example.

KEVIN ANDREWS: It's a free world, Barrie. People can advocate what they like. But as far as I'm aware, there's nothing illegal involved. As I said...

BARRIE CASSIDY: Nothing illegal about an economic boycott but it's something that you clearly support otherwise you wouldn't put your name to it.

KEVIN ANDREWS: Look, the bottom line is that this is an organisation which is pro-life. Everybody knows I'm pro-life. I'm patron of an organisation that's pro-life.

BARRIE CASSIDY: And pro-economic boycotts.

KEVIN ANDREWS: Well, as to the way in which they advocate a pro-life outcome, that's fine.

BARRIE CASSIDY: I'm just curious, one thing - what have they got against Walt Disney? Why are they demanding a boycott against Walt Disney?

KEVIN ANDREWS: (laughs) As I said, I'm not involved in their day-to-day operations. I'm a patron of it. I'm not running away from that. It's been on my declaration of interests forever and a day or ever since I've been a patron of it. That's that.

BARRIE CASSIDY: Thanks for your time this morning.

KEVIN ANDREWS: My pleasure.

Walt Disney aside, that Lion King of theirs having been long revealed to be queerer than a carpentry joint tacked together by someone with St.Vitus' dance, Life Decisions International also appear to be dead-set opposed to that infamous "culture of death" concept known as carpet on floors, listing among their "boycott targets", the companies Carpet One, Flooring America, Flooring Canada, and Flooring One.

Now, I know nothing of carpets, plush rugs never before having struck me as particularly sinister, but, perhaps summat's afoot aboot that lump of piles on my floor which has yet to shew it's evil intentions.

But why on earth would the poor old Coach Dairy Goat Farm of Pine Farms, New York be in their sights?

What have they got against a decent lump of curd?

DEAD MEN'S FORESKINS

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MEN OF GOD

Adapted and edited for clarity from this source ...

World Youth Day co-ordinator, Bishop Anthony Fisher, BLAHED yesterday that some victims were "crankily dwelling … on old wounds" ...

... He was BLAHING to news that a Melbourne man, Anthony Foster, was returning ... to confront Cardinal George Pell and Pope Benedict over the repeated rape of two of his daughters by Father Kevin O'Donnell at a primary school in Melbourne's Oakleigh parish.

The Archbishop of Sydney refused to BLAH BLAH yesterday and gave no BLAH that he would BLAH Mr Foster, as he had requested. Cardinal Pell said BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Mr Foster's eldest daughter, Emma, committed suicide last year, aged 26, after a long struggle with drugs. His second daughter, Katherine, who turned to drink, was hit by a car in 1999 and left physically and mentally disabled ...

... Yesterday he branded Bishop Fisher's BLAH outrageous. "We are still grieving over our daughters ...”

... Cardinal Pell said BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. He said BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.

"BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH, BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH; BLAH BLAH BLAH. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH." ...

... But Sister Angela Ryan, prevention officer for Towards Healing, said BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH. "BLAH BLAH BLAH, BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH, BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH."

The director of the Vatican press office, Frank Lombardi, gave a BLAH BLAH that BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Bishop Fisher did not BLAH to media inquiries..

FOUR SECONDS

A mother takes a photo of her child for artistic purposes and the morally righteous wrath of the nation's so-called "leaders" crashes down upon her head.

A Catholic priest sexually abuses a minor, is given a "token sentence of four seconds", and the nation's so-called "leaders" fall over themselves to throw cunts like this a week-long party.

By these criteria, if convicted pedophile Dennis Ferguson had been a priest, he would've scored ... oh, about 20 seconds of punishment for his crimes. What a slog.

No doubt Ferguson now rues the career path he chose for himself in his younger days. I'm sure he would've proven himself a fine "servant of the Lord".

WELL BUGGER ME, IT’S THE POPE!

I'm stumped.

“EXTRAORDINARY new powers will allow police to arrest and fine people for "causing annoyance" to World Youth Day participants and permit partial strip searches at hundreds of Sydney sites, beginning today.”

This rubbish is simply beyond the realms of parody.

10's of millions of dollars to perve on a corpse. 10’s of millions of dollars to have a massive clusterfuck of bead rattling and wafer munching while an old bloke in a glass cage whizzes around the city streets and then, to top it all, a re-enactment of a guy with a beard getting nailed to two chunks of wood.

As Gordon Ramsey might say, "Fuck me".

If you're unfortunate enough to be in Sydney on World Youth Day, may I suggest that you do please be annoying by wearing a special Goatboy t-shirt to mark the occasion and organising a whole bunch of mates to gather in Martin Place for a massed vocal rendition of Tom Lehrer's "Vatican Rag" ...

After which, go find a church and pee in the holy water.



From 1965, Tom Lehrer “The Vatican Rag”

EVERYTHING STOPS NOW!

"I think it makes sense to hope that one day there may be an international day of prayer ... It will be a chance for people of faith around the world to stop at the same time to pause to praise an Almighty. It will be a time when we could pray together for a world that sees the promise of the Psalms made real: 'Your love is ever before me, and I walk continually in your truth' " US President George Bush said.

In anticipation of the day when everything "stops" for prayer, some enthused US citizens take the idea for a test run ...



From 2007, Charlie Todd & Improv Everywhere in Grand Central

CRACKING THE CRUISE CODE

What Tom Cruise was really trying to say ...

“I think it's a privilege to call yourself a Scientologist and it's something that you have to earn. And because a Scientologist does. He, or she has the ability to create new and better realities and improved conditions. Aaaah ...being a Scientologist you look at someone and know absolutely that you can help them.”

Tom likes to look at people.

“So for me it really is K.S.W. and it's just like, it's, it's something that err... I don't mince words with that ... you know, it's, with anything that L.R.H. does but policy to me has really gone (SUCKS AIR. CHOPS AIR WITH HAND) boy and I ran (mumbles indecipherably) I, there's a time when I went through and I said "You know what ?" 'n' when I read it, I, you know, I just went "PFOOOOOOO!!", this is it. This is exactly it.”

And he wants to be an airplane.

“But being a Scientologist... when you drive past an accident, it's not like anyone else... it's you drive past; you know you have to do something about it because... you know you're the only one that can really help.”

Also, he likes to drive.

“But that's ... that's what drives me is that I know we, we have an opportunity ... and errr... to really ... to help, for the first time. EFF, effectively change peoples' lives and errr ... I am dedicated that I'm gonna... I'm mmm ... DABSOLUTELY, uncompromisingly... dedicated to that.”

He really, really, really likes to drive.

“ORGS are there to help, OK, but w-w-we as, you know, as... else with the public it's like, we have a responsibility, it's not just the orgs, it's not just Dave Miscavige, you know... it's not just, not just me. It's you, it's everyone out there, kinda SSSS, re-reading K.S.W. and looking at what needs to be done and saying O.K.!! Am I gonna do it or am I not gonna do it? Period. And am I gonna look at that guy or am I too afraid because I have my own "out ethics" to put in someone else's ethics, and that's all it comes down to.”

And he likes to look at people ... Just not all the time, but.

“Because I won't hesitate to put ethics in on someone else, you know, 'cause I put it BRUTHLESSLY in on myself. And I think that errr... I respect that... in, in others. And errr, you know, I'm there to help, and we're here to help and my opinion is, is that look, you-you're on board ... or you're not on board. OK, but just ... if you're on board, you're on board just like the rest of us. Period.”

Also, he likes boats and stuff.

“We are the authorities on getting people off drugs. We are the authorities on the mind. We are the authorities on improving conditions. Criminon ... we can rehabilitate criminals. Way to happiness. We can bring peace errr... and unite cultures, errr ... that once you know these tools and you know that they work it's, it's not good enough, that errr ... I'm just doing OK.”

He has a shed full of tools.

“Travelling the world and meeting the people that I, that I've met, you know, talking with these leaders in various fields ... they want help, and they are depending on people, who, know. And who can be effective, and do it and that's us. That is our responsibility to do that.”

Tom wants to help. Also, he has a shed full of tools.

“It is the time now, now is the time, OK. It is being a Scientologist, people are turning to you so you'd better know it. You'd better know it. And if you don't, you know ... go and learn it. A-HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. You know? But don't pretend you know it and, errr, or, for, you know, what ever it's like, we're here to help.”

What time is it? Ask Tom. He wants to help. And he has a shed full of tools.

“I mean, if you're a Scientologist, you see life tha-, you see things the way they are. In all its glory, you know, all of its complexity errr ... and the more you know as a Scientologist you don't become overwhelmed by it.”

Looking at things is fun.

“A-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! And errr ... I would, you know, she ... they said ... so, what, have you met an S.P.? A-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! (CLAPS HANDS) and I looked at though at, errr, you know, and I thought oh what a beautiful thing because maybe one day, it'll be like that, you know what I'm saying? Maybe one day, BA-HAHAHA HA!! It will be that, wow, S.P.s, like they'll just read about those in history books, you know? A-HAHAHA HAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHA HA HA-HAHAHA!!!! HER-HER, HA-HA-HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”

Tom is happy! Clap hands with Tom!

“Thing is, I just go through that tech and it's, it literally it's, it's not SNORG! SNORT! how to run from an S.P., it's P.T.S.S.P., how to shatter suppression. Confront, shatter suppression. You apply it, it's like (SNAPS FINGERS!) BOOM!”

Then, let’s blow some stuff up!

“Because they don't come up to me and do that, errr... they won't do it to me. Not to my face. You know, or anywhere in my vicinity, where they feel they can be... confronted, you know. They just don't do it.”

Y’know, sometimes, people don’t want to look at Tom. Rude cunts.

“I wish the world was a different place. I'd like to go on vacation and go and, romp and, play and just... do that, you know what I mean? I mean ... that's what I want it to be, o.k.? That's how I, I wouldn't, you know, there's times I'd like to do that but ...but I can’t ... because ... I know ... I know, so... I ga, you know, but you know, you just you're, I da, I have to do something about it, it's not ... TSK, TSK ... You know you can sit here and wish it was different and then you look at it and then you go OK. this is it, alright, OK, and there's that moment when you go ... you know ... I have to do something, don't I ? Yeah, I really have to do it because I can't live with myself if I don't and it's and that really is it.”

Tom needs a holiday.

“I don't care if someone thinks it's hard or easy, it's either helping ... and contributing everything you can or you're not. OK? Errr ... because I'm carrying my load, all right? And only that as much as I'm carrying I still feel like I gotta do more, all right? There's still a thing of, let's go!”

He’ll carry his own luggage.

“You can just see it the look in their eyes, you know the ones that are doing, you know, and you know the spectators who are the ones who are going ... "Well it's easy for you or what am I doing?" and it's just, that thing is errr, I've cancelled that in my area. A-HAHAHA! Round my ... it's like, man you're either in or you're out. That spectator is I mean it's something that, that is, we have no time for now.”

Maybe later, then.

“So it's our responsibility to... educate. Create the new reality, you know, we have that responsibility to say hey, this is the way it should be done, because we do it this way and people are actually getting better.”

Somewhere new would be nice.

“And... let's get it done. You know, let's really get it done and have enough love, compassion, toughness, that, that you're gonna do it. Errr ... and, errr ... do it ... right.”

We can book the tickets today.

“And I have to tell you something ... I really... it, it is... you know ... it's rough and tumble ... and it's wild and woolly and it's a blast ... it's a blast. It really is ... fun... because, damn it, there is nothing better... than to going out there and fighting the fight and suddenly you see SHROOM!! BKKKKKKKKKAPOW!! Things are better.”

Then, we can play rocketships!

“I want to know that I've done everything I could, every day. And I think about those people out there, who... are depending on, us. And, errr ... I think about that. And it does make me feel, errr, like, man, I got, I got, there's, you know, we got more work. I need more help. You know, get those spectators, either in the playing field or out of the arena, you know. A-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! That's how I really, that's how I feel about it.”

Hey! Let’s get everyone to play rocketships! ...

“I do what I can... and I do it... the way I do everything. A-HA A-HA AHAHAHAHAHA!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! There's nothing, part of the way for me. A-HAHAHAHAHAHA!! AHAHAHAHAHA!! It's just "WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

... Or trains!

Big laughing trains!

Big laughing trains that fly through space!

Cool.

O COME ALL YE FAITHFUL

It's only 8 days till Christmas ... the Christ Mass ... And throughout the land, the devout, the pious, the desperately fearful and fearfully desperate take to the streets to spread the word of their beloved and loving lord and saviour ... to bring the sweet reason and poetry of the sweetest gospel of them all to the doors of the unbeliever, the skeptic, the pinched of heart, the shabby of mind and the sour of soul.

With fliers and pamphlets and booklets and bibles, nice suits and haircuts and big grinning smiles, sincere and sweetly they offer you things, submission, salvation, the realm of the king ...

When the door’s knocked, when the bell rings, when you’re feeling drab, just hop off that sofa and open your heart, and then you won’t feel ... so bad ...

“Good morning, sir. We’re visiting your neighbourhood today to talk to people about the word of god and of his son, our lord Jesus Christ, and we were wondering if we may take a few moments of your time?”

Well, heavens above, it is Christmas after all ... what’s a few fleeting moments between strangers, especially as these particular strangers seem so inoffensive, so serene and respectful, and so willing to devote so much of their time to what must be such a thankless task at the very best of times.

And so, being not one who has made a habit of rejecting the tender mercies and small kindnesses that have, on occasions past, been visited upon your person, you decide to accommodate the entreaties of these weary pilgrims with a welcoming smile and an inviting wave of the hand, suffused as you are with the spirit of generosity and patience that has come to define this most holy and sacred of seasons ...

“Why, of course you can have a fucking moment of my fucking time, you fucking plug-ugly fucking lumps of fucking maggot shit ... Haul your fucking arses in by all fucking means ... Would you like a fucking glass of fucking water or a fucking cup of fucking tea while you’re fucking here? ... Sit your fucking selves fucking down on the fucking sofa and make yourself fucking home ... Would you like a fucking biscuit? ... Help your fucking self ... Have two fucking biscuits if you fucking like ... Fuck me dead, were you fucking born with that fucking face? You poor fucking cow ... Never fucking mind ... How’s the fucking tea, all fucking right? Would you like some fucking milk or some fucking sugar with your fucking tea? ... Don’t be fucking shy ... feel fucking free to fucking dig in ... I’d introduce you to the fucking wife but she’s not fucking here right at the fucking moment, but if you’re fucking okay with fucking waiting for a fucking bit, I could whip us up some fucking yummy fucking treats to tide us fucking over till she fucking gets back from wherever the fucking fuck she fucking is ... Jesus fucking Christ on a fucking cross, I’ve been so fucking tense all fucking week ... Excuse me a fucking moment while I fucking whip out my fucking willy and fucking masturbate with wild fucking abandon ... Mind your fucking head.”

Happy Christmas.

Smelly Tongues will be in hiatus till mid-January.



From 1987, The Pogues & Kirsty MacColl “Fairytale of New York”

CHRISTMAS CRACKERS

In his book "God Is Not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything", Christopher Hitchens draws attention to the edict (or rather, damnation) issued by the elders of the Amsterdam synagogue in 1656 upon the person of Baruch Spinoza who had the audacity at the time to question the immortality of the soul and call for a separation between church and state. It went like this ...

"With the judgement of the angels and of the saints we excommunicate, cut off, curse, and anathematise Baruch de Espinoza, with the consent of the elders and of all this holy congregation, in the presence of the holy books: by the 613 precepts which are written therein, with the anathema wherewith Joshua cursed Jericho, with the curse which Elisha laid upon the children, and with all the curses which are written in the law. Cursed be he by day and cursed be he by night. Cursed be he in sleeping and cursed be he in waking, cursed in going out and cursed in coming in. The Lord shall not pardon him, the wrath and fury of the Lord shall henceforth be kindled against this man, and shall lay upon him all the curses which are written in the book of the law. The Lord shall destroy his name under the sun, and cut him off for his undoing from all the tribes of Israel, with all the curses of the firmament which are written in the book of the law"

What a sweet bunch of fellas.

Yet, 350 years later, one does not have to go ranging all that deep, far and wide throughout the internet to find that today’s very own self-anointed sunbeams for Jesus don’t differ all that much from their ancestors in their attitudes to unbelievers...

From the “reviews” of Hitchens’ book on Amazon, here’s a little taste (my emphases added)...

“Every knee shall bow, including the author's, but then it will be too late. Those who hate God will spend eternity in hell in unbelievable pain and suffering. Books like these can lead people astray from the truth about which Jesus said, "If you mislead someone away from Me, it would be better that a boulder would be tied around his neck and be thrown into the ocean." It would be better if he were never born.” (Review from August 23, 2007)

“I can't believe people get away with writing stuff like this in this country. Maybe in the USSR, but not America. I thought people got blacklisted for having opinions such as this. I guess I was wrong, our country needs a new Senator McCarthy. This guy promotes atheism, a dead give away that shows without a shadow of a doubt that he is a communist. Communists should not be allowed to have the same rights as people. This man should be blacklisted, and taken to prison, and possibly deported to Cuba or North Korea. It appears that even though the Soviet Union collapsed, they won the Cold War after all. The number of people killed by religion is nothing compared with the number of people killed by atheist communism!” (Review from June 10, 2007)

“WHAT A WASTE OF TREES!!! THIS BOOK SHOULD BE BANNED!!! It is such a shame that people continue to TRY to disprove the existence of God and do not acknowledge THE ONE AND ONLY LORD JESUS CHRIST.” (Review from July 22, 2007)

Then there’s this absolute killer (also from Amazon) posing as a “review” of Martin Scorcese’s 1988 film “The Last Temptation of Christ” ...

“WARNING: Christians out there, BEWARE of this DEMONIC film! You really wanna see what BLASPHEMY truly is: This piece of filth! Do not watch it! You'll be sorry if you did! This movie does NOT deserve any stars PERIOD! Point blank! Instead of bashing a really true and inspirational film like "The Passion of the Christ", start thinking about doing so to a debris like this useless data, if you want to call it data at all.

By watching this GARBAGE, one is completely doing the same as BLASPHEMING my Lord and Savior JESUS CHRIST!!! That is why I did not watch it. Some years back, when I saw this TRASH of an ABOMINATION advertised on AMC, I knew it was a DISGRACE and BLASPHEMOUS to the Word of God. I mean, are you that illiterate and ignorant??? Can't you tell that just by reading the name of the title "The Last Temptation of Christ" that it is SICK?? This is totally off-based from the Holy Bible. Not to mention, it is adding and taking away from the Words of the Bible, as it clearly states in Revelation 22:18-19. I pity the fools that watch this film, I surely DID NOT!! If you want to know what really happened to JESUS CHRIST, and what He really was about, then do one or both of the FOLLOWING: (1)Read the Holy Bible AND/OR (2)Watch the true DEPICTION of JESUS in the 2004 film, "The Passion of the Christ"!! In case some of you out there don't know what the PASSION means, it literally means "SUFFERING". That is what Jesus Christ did, He suffered for all the SINS of humanity. I mean, SUFFERED! He even refused myrr (which was sour wine used to numb pain) all because He was willing to take in every pain WE humans deserve! Get a reference from Psalm 69:21, Matthew 27:34 and verse 48, and John 19:28-30. That is what my Savior JESUS CHRIST is all about!

A little FURTHER reminder to those sick HYPOCRITES that agree with this ungodly Martin Scorcesse film of "The Last Temptation of Christ": You are blasphemers to say and believe that Jesus had ever given into temptation of satan by ignoring His duty on the cross and marrying Mary Magdalene and having children. SICK SICK SICK! I am so disgusted with you cults! How dare you disgrace the HOLY name of our Lord and Savior JESUS CHRIST! You will definitely be accursed for that! "But though we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel unto you than that which we have preached unto you, let him be accursed." [Galatians 1:8] "Wherefore I say unto you, All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men: but the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men." -Jesus Christ [Matthew 12:32] It is the ULTIMATE SIN that by its very nature puts a man beyond the opportunity of SALVATION. Wake up and get a clue, people!” (April 28, 2004)

Umm ... Okey-dokey, then.

You know, one could be easily forgiven for thinking that the loving bosom of the Lord so often invoked by the faithful and the pious is nothing more than a soggy, string bean tit spitting naught but bile straight to the limp little noodles of these idiots.

I’m definitely staying away from the red cordial this Christmas ... it makes people go all daffy in the head.



From 1969, Flying Burrito Brothers “Sin City”