WHERE'S KEVIN, WALLY?

Oh, woe. Dey seek him here, dey seek him there, wherefore he be, and whyfore he not be wherefore he should be at when he be wherefore we wanted him before and now he be there and not here ...

KEVIN RUDD has been criticised for failing to meet the Dalai Lama during his visit to Sydney this week, leaving the official meeting to a relative unknown, Senator Chris Evans.

A spokesman for Mr Rudd said the Prime Minister, who is in Japan, could not arrange a meeting because he was not returning to Canberra until Sunday night and the Dalai Lama was to leave on Monday morning.

The Opposition Leader, Brendan Nelson, has agreed to a meeting, and yesterday a spokesman for him questioned why Mr Rudd was not doing the same.

"Kevin Rudd met with the Dalai Lama as opposition leader. Why wouldn't he now? Dr Nelson will meet him, just as the opposition leader did 12 months ago."

Okay, Brendan. Listen carefully now ... What part of, "He's not meeting him because he's not in the fucking country right now, he's in Japan for a week" has yet to penetrate that sorry, soggy addled little peanut of yours?

Idiot.