WHEN ONLY THE RIGHT WILL DO

This grubby little cunt's desperate effort to turn a racist, anti-semitic madman's violence into something symbolic of "leftist" hate is the latest example of the rising din of stupidity and hysteria from those who call themselves "conservative" and "right-wing" and labour under the delusion that violence is, and can only ever be, endemic to the "left".

There's certainly no hate here, is there? ...



No, no, no, there's no hate on this side of the political spectrum. Never has been. They're sweet and cuddly little sunbeams for Jesus.

These are the type of people who give rational-minded conservatives a bad name. Whether one is of the "right", or of the "left", neither side can claim for themselves a monopoly on sanity and common sense as there are fruitloops batting for both teams and it's the fruitloops who always holler the loudest and for the longest time, attracting attention simply by virtue of their ability to throw fistfuls of shit about on a regular basis like so many monkeys in a cage.

And their existence, their actions and their views soil the minds, the souls and spirits of those of us on each side of the spectrum who are not so arrogantly convinced of our righteous infallibility in all things that we may claim all evil and all that is and has been bad in the world is the fault of one side and one side only.

For to do so would be to reveal oneself as a vacuous, drooling, twitching and ignorant imbecile of the highest order.

As for Bolt, well, fuck him. A gutter-dwelling, dog-whistling grub of the lowest order, a talentless and spectacularly banal hack who is to journalism what Jacqueline Susann once was to literature.

Popular in their time, but barely relevant to anyone and anything after it.

It's not journalism. It's not reportage. It's not even analysis. It's the sound of a man way out of time and way out of place whistling vintage tunes out of his arse, expecting his acolytes to gather round for a sing-along while someone resembling Walter Brennan plays pianola in a bar.

It's crap.

And I can't read any more of it.

Therefore ...

Bookmark deleted.

Life's too short, and there are better things to do with it.

SHINY HAPPY PARASITES MUST BURN

From last Friday to Wednesday of this week, I was laid up sick with an unidentified stomach bug that had me rushing from the couch to the sink (closest receptacle available) to dry retch every 20 or 30 minutes. Over the course of 5 days, I've eaten 2 pieces of toast and an apple. The upside (upchuck?) is that I've lost a notch a half in belt size, so I've fought the good fight against the rampant obesity epidemic, going from a whopping 32" waist to about 30".

Fuck you, Jenny Craig.

And during this time, my brain being too rattled to concentrate on anything requiring coherent or sustained thought, I sat in front of the television whimpering like a whipped dog from the pain of a stomach in knots, and watched as the horrors of death, destruction and inconsolable grief flickered their way across the great glass teat of pop'lar ennertainment.

By Tuesday morning, enough was enough.

Thank God for SBS and the ABC, for they were the only two television channels that made any effort to report actual news about the events of that weekend rather than wallowing like fat happy pigs in the hollow pits of pain and loss that once were people with lives, with futures and with pasts, and who, now, wandered like shell-shocked soldiers through a battlefield the likes of which they could never have imagined in their most outrageous nightmares.

The shiny, happy parasites of commercial infotainment, self-anointed Masters-Of-The-Universe-As-Gods-Of-Pain outdid themselves in the rush to see which “host” of this once-in-a-lifetime entertainment opportunity could best make der unhappy, scrunchy face and convey to you, to us, just how horrible everything had been, how much worse it was going to get, and just how thoroughly and utterly fucked everybody involved were.

For we would not be able to grasp the deep import of these events without a familiar face to guide us through the proper meaning of loss, something only they could convey and can we please have some music for the underscore just in case anyone missed it? Thanks very much, Pachelbel’s Canon will do just fine, but after the break can we toss in some R.E.M. or Jeff Buckley? Cheers, thanks, ta, we have an annual licence so there’s no probs with der rights, eh?

And so, with their faces duly pasted and painted so as to take the shine off their shiny, shiny foreheads, they cast their eyes about for the wasted and the wounded, knowing full well they’ll be met with little resistance from the shocked and the stunned as they shove microphones and cameras in the faces of people who’ve lost husbands, wives, sons, daughters, parents, their homes, their pets, the entire record of their lives on earth to date and ask the really, really pertinent questions that really, really begged for an answer …

“You’ve lost your wife and your children and your home and your pets and the entire record of your life on earth to date … How do you feeeeeeeeeel nowwwwwww?”

The answer I wanted never came, or it was certainly never broadcast …

“How would you feel if I shoved this fucking microphone and this fucking camera between the flappy folds of your saggy, spotted buttocks until your fucking pinhead pops off your scrawny fucking shoulders, you ghoulish fucking lump of insensitive cuntspit?”

Better luck next time, perhaps.

And in their wake come the whores, hacks and harlots of the “popular” Australian press, ever eager to drive the standards (?!) of Australian journalism (??!) and reportage (???!) into the mediocrity it so enthusiastically and increasingly embraces ... (Hey! Psst! Wanna see a photo of Salma Hayek breastfeeding a kid? WE GOT IT! Tits, man! And boy, ain’t she got a set! Hubba hubba!).

Yet that shouldn’t be too surprising, given the “popular” press is mostly owned by some pussy-whipped old fart whose hair goes through more colour changes in a week than Joseph’s Technicolour Dreamcoat could do in a 6 month Broadway run.

Yep, round up the usual narcissistic deadshits and set ‘em to work to preach from the same old bully pulpit as always - Hell, you need talent, intelligence and imagination to think up something new and actually write about it in depth and no one wants to read that shit these days, do they? Is Australia, mate, the “lucky country”, don’t you be gittin’ above your raisin’ an’ puttin’ on airs an’ graces boy, an’ gettin’ deep on us all.

There’s a predictable lad.

Ah, fuck ‘em all. Throw some money in a bucket or a tin can or organise something at work or donate some blood or whatever, but next time these cunts of commercial “news” suggest splashing the face of someone writhing in the throes of uncontrollable grief for “your consideration” in some special extended agony remix edition, turn the fucking thing off or turn the page.

Enough is enough.

ANDY'S CLOUDY CRYSTAL BALL

On Tuesday, January 27, 2009 at 02:23pm, Andrew Bolt predicts that the newly-elected U.S. President will be way too busy to bother giving Kevin Rudd a call any time soon ...

On Wednesday, January 28, 2009 at 9.24am, AAP reports ...

Barack Obama has made his first phone call to Prime Minister Kevin Rudd since becoming US president.

Mr Obama phoned Mr Rudd on Wednesday morning, Australian time, the prime minister's office confirmed.

No further details are available, although there is speculation the US will ask Australia to commit more troops to the conflict in Afghanistan.

THE 1ST ANNUAL SMELLY TONGUES "SNIFF MY FINGER" AWARDS ...

... For the relentless pursuit and presentation of random stupidities that will forevermore stand as a testament to how the human race eventually managed to devolve back into a puddle of pond-scum ...

THE "SOMEBODY FAMOUS FARTED" AWARD (or, "WHY THE FUCK IS THIS NEWS?") goes to ...

The Sydney Morning Herald for it's breathless report about how, when Lindsay Lohan's girlfriend Samantha Ronson arrived at Sydney airport in September, 2008, she exited the terminal and lit a cigarette.

As the story is uncredited, the award, a Vegemite jar of famous people's farts will be presented to former SMH editor Alan Oakley. What a whiffy way to go, Alan, old chap! Well done, what!

THE "PHILLIP TRAVERS" AWARD for incomprehensible chatterbot claptrap comments on the intertubes goes to ...

What a fucking field of worthy contenders, ladies and gentlemen, and my-oh-my-oh-my, did this one put our judges to the test this year! Two of them stabbed themselves in their eye-sockets, and another ripped his own face off in indecision, so I guess that leaves the choice of this year's inaugural winner up to myself. It was a last minute entry, but by God, it worked for me ...

From Scott Weinberg's Cinematical review of Frank Miller's film "The Spirit", "Serge G" had this to say ...

"I'd like inform you that Scarlett Johansson (actress)actually is a clone from original person,who has nothing with acting career.Clone was created illegally using stolen biomaterial.Original Scarlett Galabekian last name is nice, CHRISTIAN young lady.I'll tell more,those clones(it's not only 1)made in GERMANY-world leader manufacturer of humans clones,it's in Ludwigshafen am Rhein,Rhineland-Palatinate,Mr.Helmut Kohl home town.You can't even imaging the scale of the cloning activity.But warning,H.Kohl staff strictly controlling their clones spreading around the world,they're NAZI type disciplined and mind controlled,be careful get close with clones you will be controlled too.Original family didn't authorize any activity with stolen biomaterials,no matter what form it was created in,it's all need to be back to original family control in Cedars-Sinai MedicalCenter in LA.Controlling clones is US military operation.Original Scarlett never was engaged,by the way"

Congratulations, Serge! Your award is this very special lead coated space bar which will be presented to you in the form of a severe beating about the head. Enjoy your brain hemorrhage, Serge! You've earned it, baby!

THE "PIERS 'I CAN'T SEE MY PENIS FROM UP HERE' AKERMAN" AWARD for services to sexual hysterics, pedophile paranoia and moral panic about pretty much anything ado about fucking and genitalia goes to ...

Jesus Christ on a cross upside-down and split up the arse with a eucalypt log, people! Where the hell can we start with this one?! Ladies and gentlemen, this was a field stuffed to the stocking top with notable nominees and, to be fair to all, no one individual stood above any other. And so, in a historical first for award programmes across the globe, we are proud to announce that everyone's a winner!

Yes-indeedy-do, this year's award will be jointly and proudly shared by ... Family First Senator Steve Fielding for suggesting that adults should be banned from viewing adult material on the internet; Miranda Devine, Hetty Johnston, Kevin Rudd and Morris Iemma for having dirty thoughts about an image of a nude adolescent and thinking everyone else on the planet is just as obsessed with sex as they are (the dirty little fuckers); and Senator Stephen Conroy just because the dumb little cunt wasn't scraped, bagged and flushed into a toilet back when he was a zygote.

Our hearty congratulations to all! Your prize will be awarded to you backstage by forty-seven Masai warriors on ice, all of whom are right now feverishly working their sixteen-inch weapons of mass destruction into a lather of rhythmically throbbing gristle on your behalf and for your pleasure.

And remember, folks, bukkake ain't another word for a bridge-game! (Please remember to collect your super-size sponges from the stage manager afore you venture back to the green room, ta).

And, last but certainly not least! May I have a drum-roll and a boom-tish, please!

THE SNIFF MY FINGER "GOLDEN JACKBOOT" AWARD!!

Generously sponsored by Odour Eaters, Stormfront and the German National Democratic Party, this year's winner is ...

ANDREW BOLT!

For his inimitable irrepressibility, snide insinuations and suspect views about anything that ain't white, ain't right and ain't about 120 years old, Andy was always a frontrunner favourite for this award and, by dang and dagnabbity goshdarn, he deserves the recognition!

Andrew's prize will be a fully escorted tour (courtesy of the N.D.P.) to Passau where he will be encouraged to slit the throat of a police officer while uttering the words, "Greetings from the Herald-Sun and Rupert Murdoch, you left-wing police pig" ...

It oughta be a doddle.

Thank you all for your attendance and attention and we look forward to doing it all again next year.

Oh, by the way, if there are any footballers in tonight's audience, try to avoid raping the ushers on your way out, boys ... I know it's a party habit thing with you guys, but it takes a helluva long time to get the stains out of the carpet ... Why don't you just go home and shove a wine glass in your girlfriend's face instead, you gutless little fuckers? You'll get a talk show out of it, I guarantee ...

THE WAR ON WHITE PEOPLE

I’ve been blissfully unaware of the war that currently rages against white people such as myself, but Andrew Bolt has been bustin’ hisself lately to bring this latest threat against the dear hearts and gentle people of the commonweal to wider attention …

“David Warren on a new mixture of stupidity and ignorance:

Last Monday, the student council of Carleton University attracted much attention to their university and to the city of Ottawa—around Canada and the world—with their decision to cancel their annual Shinerama fundraising efforts on behalf of the Canadian Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. Their argument was that this disease afflicts ”white people and primarily men.” They would rather choose a charity that is more “inclusive.””

This little snippet of silly shit comes to Bolt courtesy of the obviously ‘lerted and ‘larmed “reader Perturbed of NSW” who’d been poking about the pages of the world-renowned journal of note, the Ottawa Citizen, and was so desperately disturbed by the behaviour of this globally influential university student council and their decision to raise funds for something other than the something they’d previously raised funds for that he/she felt an A.P.B. to Bolt and his Whackjob Patrol was in order .

For Satan’s godless minions are once again afoot.

(As an aside, a telling detail of the evil that stalks the land is that “Shinerama” contains the last 3 letters of the devious tobacco-suckin’ U.S. President-Elect’s surname which may just be enough to convince decent, God-fearin’ folk to start packing the shelters with bottled water, dried fruits and grains. Of course, “Shinerama” may just be a live action version of “Futurama” using ankle-sock puppets, but hell, why take chances at this perilous time in our lives?)

And so, devotees of Chaos Theory one and all, Bolt’s monkeys take this as just another signpost pointing to the impending end of civilisation as we know it …

“Western civilisation as we know it is in rapid decline, and history will show it was a suicide.” k1w1 of Brisbane (Reply) Tue 02 Dec 08 (12:49am)

“Then why don’t they piss off and join their inclusive brothers in the Middle East? Now there’s an inclusive culture for you where all are equal ..equally deranged that is .. “ frankly fed up of melbourne (Reply)

“The above says it all really..but what Cystic Fibrosis really needs is a touch of Islam to sanitize it and make it appealing to progressive thinkers like these dunderheads.” uptothebackteeth of Brisbane (Reply) Tue 02 Dec 08 (06:18am)

“I’ll bet these freaks are all in favour of AIDS “charities”, though. The type of behaviour that leads to that disease is ‘inclusive’ enough for them.” RWDB of Normalcy (Reply) Tue 02 Dec 08 (07:10am)

“Maybe this group could instead raise funds to combat Islamic Mental Derangement (IMD), a genetic illness that affects young, disaffected people used as tools by others who are even more mentally crazed … In the Islamic world, the main symptoms are an unbalanced sense of grievance and victimhood, and a desire to slaughter and terrorise others, wipe out all infidels, keep women in cages, institute brutality and cruelty and take the world back to the Dark Ages … In other parts of the world, particularly Western academia, the disease manifests itself in increasingly self-destructive and near-suicidal tendencies, a strong sense of imputed guilt, and a wish to toss away liberty, equality and hard-won freedoms with a view to undermining established democratic systems, all accompanied by an inability to think for oneself.” Baden of Sydney (Reply) Tue 02 Dec 08 (09:10am)

So, according to these colossal colonic polyps, three of them think this decision has something to do with the Middle East and Islam. That sort of flew under my radar, I must admit. Another thinks it has to do with gay sex. I missed that connection, too. Strangely, I thought it was about a bunch of students trying to decide which Canadian charity they’d throw their efforts into this time. But no, their decision is the flapping of a butterfly’s wings in the Amazon and a dark portent of times at their end.

And then, just when you think sanity is only a name for a chain of crappy music shops, along comes Bill from Tasmania …

“It’s their fundraising effort, they are free to choose who they do it for as we all are. Their reasons are nobody’s business but theirs.” Bill O Tas (Reply) Tue 02 Dec 08 (07:46am)

Nobody’s business but theirs?

Fancy that.

Bloody Tasmanians.

THIS YOGHURT KILLS BABIES

I wrote this a while back (October 2007) on a blog that no longer exists (an early effort), however, in light of poor old Andrew’s mournful whining today about poor old Kevin Andrews, an apparently “cautious and deep[ly] Christian” fellow and an “honest man”, I thought it an apt and dandy time for a recycle …

Oh, those were the days, my friends, those were the days …

We thought they'd never end.

THIS YOGHURT KILLS BABIES (REDUX)

On the ABC television program "Insiders" of August 5, 2007, host Barrie Cassidy interviewed Kevin Andrews, the current Federal Minister for Immigration about his decision to deport Dr Mohamed Haneef on the basis of allegations that Haneef had been mucking it up and hooning about with some of those despicable terrorists we're forever being 'lerted and 'larmed about. Of course, most of these allegations have now been widely discredited and dismissed, and the good Minister Andrews in his desperately clumsy attempts to convince us all that his accusations were justified continues to reveal himself to be a man whose grey matter appears to comprise little else than a few dusty tumbleweeds and a blowfly.

And, aside from those pesky Indian doctors, Andrews ain’t too keen on foreign black folks either.

However, at the tail end of the interview, Cassidy began to ask Andrews about another matter entirely ...

Broadcast: 05/08/2007

BARRIE CASSIDY: I also read this morning that you are an adviser and an honorary patron to the radical - as it's described in the newspaper - radical pro-life group Life Decisions International. Is that true?

KEVIN ANDREWS: Look, I've been a patron, the Americans used the word "honorary adviser" because in America a patron is someone who pays money. I've been a patron of a pro-life organisation for about 10 years.

BARRIE CASSIDY: This group advocates economic boycotts against companies producing contraceptive pills. Is that something that you support?

KEVIN ANDREWS: Can I say, I'm a patron. I'm not involved and have never been involved in the day-to-day operation of the organisation. I'm, you know, patron of a variety of organisations.

BARRIE CASSIDY: But as a patron you lend your support to that organisation?

KEVIN ANDREWS: That's right.

BARRIE CASSIDY: And you wouldn't put your name to it unless you supported their tactics, and their tactics are to support an economic boycott against companies like GlaxoSmithKline, for example.

KEVIN ANDREWS: It's a free world, Barrie. People can advocate what they like. But as far as I'm aware, there's nothing illegal involved. As I said...

BARRIE CASSIDY: Nothing illegal about an economic boycott but it's something that you clearly support otherwise you wouldn't put your name to it.

KEVIN ANDREWS: Look, the bottom line is that this is an organisation which is pro-life. Everybody knows I'm pro-life. I'm patron of an organisation that's pro-life.

BARRIE CASSIDY: And pro-economic boycotts.

KEVIN ANDREWS: Well, as to the way in which they advocate a pro-life outcome, that's fine.

BARRIE CASSIDY: I'm just curious, one thing - what have they got against Walt Disney? Why are they demanding a boycott against Walt Disney?

KEVIN ANDREWS: (laughs) As I said, I'm not involved in their day-to-day operations. I'm a patron of it. I'm not running away from that. It's been on my declaration of interests forever and a day or ever since I've been a patron of it. That's that.

BARRIE CASSIDY: Thanks for your time this morning.

KEVIN ANDREWS: My pleasure.

Walt Disney aside, that Lion King of theirs having been long revealed to be queerer than a carpentry joint tacked together by someone with St.Vitus' dance, Life Decisions International also appear to be dead-set opposed to that infamous "culture of death" concept known as carpet on floors, listing among their "boycott targets", the companies Carpet One, Flooring America, Flooring Canada, and Flooring One.

Now, I know nothing of carpets, plush rugs never before having struck me as particularly sinister, but, perhaps summat's afoot aboot that lump of piles on my floor which has yet to shew it's evil intentions.

But why on earth would the poor old Coach Dairy Goat Farm of Pine Farms, New York be in their sights?

What have they got against a decent lump of curd?

WONDERS NEVER CEASE

Andrew Bolt reckons Obama weren't raised black, he were raised right, er, white.

One of Andy's simpering simians (Paul of Hervey Bay- Wed 12 Nov 08 (02:16pm) reckons ...

"Andrew, it is a fact that Obama has Black skin. When people meet him on the street they assume he is a black man."

Fancy that ...

GAME CALLED ON ACCOUNT OF DARKNESS

The Herald Sun's bargain-basement J.J. Hunsecker** seems to think that simply because a whole bunch of people believe Sarah Palin to be certifiably insane that that's no reason not to put her in charge of a whole bunch of very important things. J.J.'s a mite peeved that nasty folk like myself keep picking' on poor ol' dumb, cut-snake crazy Sarah. So what does J.J. see fit to do? He hauls out an interview with a left-wing Canadian politician whom he declares dumb/dumber as proof positive that teh left also have their fare share of brain-dribbling Forrest Gump types ...

Now, J.J., lift your head up from out of Rupe's lap for a bit, wipe yourself, take a swig of Listerine and pay attention, child -

1. Canada is not an American state, J.J.
2. Canada is a different place, J.J. It's up there. Above America. It's another country, actually.
3. America is not Canada, J.J. America is a different place. Below Canada. Down there.
4. Sarah Palin is standing for election in the United States, J.J. Not Canada. Okay?
5. Canada has fuck all to do with it, J.J. No elections there, J.J. They's hap'nin' in the Ewe-Nahted States, boy.

Look J.J, if it's idiots you want, every political party at every level of government in every country on the planet have more than their fair share of brain-dead dingbats in them. Always have. More so now.

Y’see, that's where all the brain-dead dingbats go these days, J.J. Into politics. It's the only “profession”, other than sport and the music industry that will have them. As well, I understand there are some pamphlets that masquerade as "news" papers that often hire the logic-disabled as a community service.

Congratulations.

As you were, boy.

** In order to properly honour and acknowledge J.J.'s vast audience of admirers, I shall now affix any post concerning his readership and himself with the tag "Crotch-Fiddlin' One-Tooth Farm-Animal Arse-Bandits". Credit where credit’s due, I reckon.

MY FATAL ERROR

I knew it wouldn’t last. Against my better judgement I popped over to Bolt’s blog to have a gander at his rattlings.

Now …

What the fuck does this mean? …

America’s Left clearly doesn’t worship Gough Whitlam the way our own feels he deserves. Here’s The Huffington Post’s Adam McKay in a panic attack:

"This is it folks. If McCain takes power we fade and become Australia in the seventies: a backwoods country with occasional flashes of relevance."

Weird: our Left fears we’re becoming too American; theirs frets the US will become too Australian. It strikes me these folks have a few differences to work through. They should get together and harmonise their lines.

WHAT ON EARTH DOES IT MEAN???!!

That’s the whole post. That’s it.

I haven’t been paying attention to anything Jimmy Olsen has been blathering on about for almost a month now. Honestly, it’s like a multi-vitamin shot to the brain. Now, having spied this one post on this one occasion, I fear all my good work has been for naught …

Brain function = Fatal Error. Fail.

Ctrl+Alt+Del = Restart ...

Brain function = File Not Found. Fatal Error. Fail.

Shutdown.

Send Error Report?

…

?

No, just bring me a beer …

Next time I get the urge to “read” something of Bolt’s, I’ll employ some CBT techniques and pop off to Bloody Disgusting instead.

A LOATHSOME, STUPID MAN

I don't intend to go into much discussion about this piece of contemptible filth by the boy-child typist from Melbourne's Herald-Sun as it is being appropriately dealt with and properly denounced over at The Blair/Bolt Watch Project.

However, upon reading the repulsive cunt's post yesterday, I was compelled to fire off a quick email to the ABC's MediaWatch, the first time I have ever done such a thing ...

Dear Media Watch,

I'd like to bring this item to your attention -

[Insert URL]

Andrew Bolt is attempting to draw some hysterical metaphor between the finding of a baby's body in a green shopping bag to the "environmental" movement.

It's an utter disgrace, and possibly one of the most maniacally stupid things I've ever read by Bolt. Some of the comments are worse.

I feel it warrants some attention from either yourselves or the Press Council.

Kind Regards
Ross Sharp.

Last time I checked on the post in question (this morning), there were 346 comments, which makes this remark by Darryl Mason on Blair/Bolt Watch very interesting indeed ...

“What’s even more fucked up than The Professional Idiot somehow connecting the tragedy of a dead and abandoned baby to people favouring far more practical ‘green’ bags over plastic is that Bolt gets bonus payments for heavy commenting and traffic flow on his blog. Payments that he demanded when advertising first began appearing on his blog.”

None of the 346 comments were made by myself. I'll be damned if I'll be helping to line the pockets of the filthy little whore.

Oh.

I've just realised this is my 100th post. Wheeee.

21st CENTURY OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDERS

In his excellent book about "end-of-times" devotees in the United States, "Have a Nice Doomsday", author Nicholas Guyatt points out that while the lunatic fringe of the “right” have their global apocalypse scenarios, so too do those of the “left”. These scenarios are inevitably environmental in nature – global warming, overpopulation, mass food shortages, resource depletion and so on.

To my mind, these are far more compelling and logical arguments than are those that posit the destruction of the planet by an Antichrist, or being carried off to the 9th circle of Hell by flocks of flaming homosexuals.

Yet one thing continues to elude me about these theories of man-made, environmental doom, and that is the science behind them.

I have no aptitude for science whatsoever.

I also have no aptitude for tennis. Or electronics. Or carpentry. Or tax returns. When confronted with the whys and wherefores of these topics, my brain turns to taffy and my thoughts wander to subjects that I feel far more comfortable with. Like sex, for example, and why I haven’t managed to get any for ... oh, never mind, you get the picture.

As far as global warming and climate change are concerned, every day, every week, every month for a few years now brings new articles for and against, graphs and maps and statistics. The science of this, the science of that, elements and chemicals and gases and measurements from here to here, from there to here, from one moment in time to another, analyses and arguments and theories and conjectures, rebuttals and confirmations and more and more bloody statistics, proposals and schemes.

I’m sorry, but frankly, my eyes glaze over just thinking about it all. I can’t even manage to herd all my marbles for long enough to even contemplate a position either for or against because ... well, I just can’t be fucking bothered. I simply can’t sustain an interest in the science of the thing, and in that I do not think I am alone in the world.

It’s not that I am skeptical of the claims that are being made in the case for climate change, it’s not that at all, as many of them, on the face of it, seem perfectly valid.

I just have a whole bunch of other things to occupy my mind, and I honestly don’t feel much like shuffling about in a perpetual cloud of despair and gloom every day for the rest of my life worrying myself into an early grave over the potential end of life on the planet as we know it.

I mean, for fuck’s sake, there’s bugger all I can do about it, so stop fucking hollering at me all the time about this stuff. I don’t know what the fucking answer is. I can’t think of any solutions. Fuck off and leave me alone. Go throw some darts at the head of an Exxon executive, why don't you.

I’m almost middle-aged, I live by myself in a flat, I don’t own a car, I don’t even own a fucking microwave oven. I walk to work and back most days. I turn appliances off at the power-point, not out of any environmental concerns, but purely because it helps keep the bills down. When I’m at home, there’s usually only one light on at any given time, and that would be the light in the room where I happen to be at. If I’m in the living room, I don’t see much point in having the fucking light on in the bedroom or the laundry, ‘cause there ain’t nobody there. And it helps keep the bills down.

And also, I put my cigarette butts in a bin instead of dropping them on the ground or in the gutter where they can get flushed into the ocean and choke flathead, so fucking shut up about that too. Piss off and mind your own fucking business.

I have an air-conditioner in the unit I’m renting, but it was there when I moved in, and by Christ, in the searing heat and humidity of the summer months up here in Brisbane, I fucking well use it and I use it often. If that offends you, I don’t care. You too can fuck off.

I have an electric toothbrush. It has a little green standby light on it, indicating that it is charged, and it’s the only appliance (aside from the refrigerator) that I do not turn off at the power point. This little light would emit no more in the way of greenhouse gases than farts from a butterfly. I’m leaving it on. Understand?

But whether for or against the case for climate change, the issue has, for some people, become an all-consuming obsession, one that appears to be threatening to tip their minds over the edge of sanity and render them completely and utterly unhinged.

Whether for or against the case, both sides need to realise that, when they insist on preaching from the farthest extremes of the argument and preach with such stridently raucous frequency, a vast number of people, myself included, simply switch off.

Witness, for example, the seemingly infinite number of posts on the topic (for the case against) from everyone’s favourite boychild-journalist Andrew Bolt. It appears to have sent him thoroughly ratty in the head, for there is nary a day goes by where this particular drum of his doesn’t get the shit thrashed out of it.

Yet, Bolt is little more than a staggeringly unremarkable and unimaginative writer with no scientific qualifications whatsoever or investigative chops for a DAILY TABLOID, for God’s sake. He is to science and the deliberations and particulars of evidence-based scientific research what Paris Hilton is to the evolution of pop music.

The last couple weeks, I’ve done a round-up and summation of the topics Bolt has addressed in his “nervous tic as blog” and you can see from those how big a part the whole climate change topic plays in his world.

However, yesterday, Thursday July 17, 2008, this is what I found ...

12.07am - Global warming cunts.

12.08am - Global warming cunts.

12.13am - Global warming cunts.

05.54am - Global warming cunts. Chinese cunts too.

06.11am - Global warming cunts.

06.13am - Kevin Rudd is a cunt.

06.17am - Global warming cunts.

06.31am - Nude cunts.

11.43am - Global warming cunts.

09.13pm - Global warming cunts.

Extraordinary, isn’t it?

For the casual passer-by (such as myself), it exerts the same fascinatingly morbid voyeuristic appeal as does a car crash. Or watching a lobotomised chimpanzee masturbate itself into a coma.

Unhinged. Utterly. Utterly. Mad.

I won't be doing these round-ups and summation of Bolt’s “blog” again as, quite frankly, it really is starting to do my fucking head in.

The man is in desperate need of a prescription. And I'm in desperate need of a Panadol.

WEDNESDAY WITH ANDREW BOLT NO.2

Last week I posted a quick run-through of topics from the obsessive-compulsive nervous disorder that the nation’s “most connovershal jurnlist” Andrew Bolt calls a “blog” just to see what type of things rattle around the little fella’s peanut on a regular basis. This week, I thought I’d have another whip-through just to see if anything has changed ...

12.03am - Boris Johnson is a cunt. (1)

12.04am - Global warming cunts. (1)

12.06am - Global warming cunts. (2)

05.38am - Visual artists are cunts. (1)

05.43am - Global warming cunts. (3)

05.46am - Petro Georgiou is a cunt. (1)

06.50am - Global warming cunts. (4)

09.01am - Global warming cunts. (5)

09.04am - Global warming cunts. (6)

09.31am - Kevin Rudd is a cunt. (1)

As at 9.31am, he’s even with the previous Wednesday’s count of 6 on the number of “Global warming cunt” posts, though he’s way off the mark so far with only one “Kevin Rudd is a cunt” item as opposed to last week’s count of 4.

And there’s just 10 posts today compared to last week’s 16, though we may be able to put this down to the fact that everyone’s favourite “ce’brity colummist” is probably boning up his bully-boy-talk-over-everyone-else tactics for his upcoming appearance on the ABC’s “Q&A”, something Andy’s been prattling on about the last few days to anyone who could be bothered listening.

Still, at least he’s maintaining a consistency of sorts by throwing in the usual item about what a bunch of cunts contemporary performers and visual arts practitioners are, and we can definitely look forward to a few more of those ... Probably around the time a new Australian film is released or Cate Blanchett gets her photo taken for something somewhere.

New to the rundown this week, small “l” Liberal Petro Georgiou comes in for a serve for daring to suggest an opinion contrary to the current party leader and Upstanding Man of Tinfoil, Brendan Nelson, which makes Petro something of a cunt, though what the UK’s Boris Johnson has to do with anything of relevance to anyone I’m fucked if I can figure out.

Our boy Andrew’s just full of spiffing little surprises some days, ain’t he?

What a source of constant joy.

WEDNESDAY WITH ANDREW BOLT

It’s all steady as she goes in Andrew’s world ...

12.03am - Global warming cunts. (1)

12.03am – Barack Obama is a cunt. (1)

12.03am - Global warming cunts. (2)

12.04am - Middle Eastern cunts. (1)

12.15am - Belinda Neal and John Della Bosca are cunts. (1)

05.20am - Kevin Rudd is a cunt. (1)

06.05am - Toilets. Cunts shit in them. (1)

06.19am - Kevin Rudd is a cunt. (2)

06.20am - Dead celebrities are cunts. (1)

06.21am - Kevin Rudd is a cunt. (3)

06.34am - Judges are cunts. (1)

08.36am - Global Warming cunts. (3)

09.46am - Global Warming cunts. (4)

11.57am - Global Warming cunts. (5)

12.35pm - Puppy Dog Sits in a Hat. What a cunt. (1)

02.52pm - Kevin Rudd is a cunt. (4)

03.04pm - Global Warming cunts. (6)

Yep. Steady as she goes ...

CALM DOWN, IDIOT

Andrew Bolt and his flock of flying fuckwits certainly love to whip themselves up into a seething frenzy of stupidity over the merest whiff of a non-story on a regular basis, and here they go again ...

... A couple of publicity-deprived Islamic ratbags have stated that they'd like to see polygamy allowed by law in Australia. So, as far as Bolt and his monkeys are concerned, sharia law - it's on der cards, run fer da hills, stock up on dried goods, and grabs yerselves a gun or six to protect der wimmin and chillun from der impending eeeeee-vil dat stalks der land ...

What a load of bullshit.

...There are all sorts of dickheads in this country who'd like to see all sorts of things made law, and all sorts of other things banned ...

... Whenever a particularly ghastly crime is committed and reported, a whole bunch of them call for the re-introduction of the death penalty ... Whenever teens misbehave, another bunch of hardnuts holler for the re-introduction of the draft ... There are people who'd insist that religion be a compulsory class in public schools, that creationism be taught in science and evolutionary theory not; that we close our shores to immigration from people of colour; that we deport the ones already here; that smokers be denied medical treatment ... Frankly, there are far too many stupid ideas, theories and propositions floating about on any given day from any number of ridiculously silly tosspots than can possibly be countenanced here, and all the time in the world wouldn't permit a comprehensive summation of them ...

... Needless to say, every ideology, whether religious or political in nature has its fair share of thoroughly unhinged knobjockeys, noisy little turds who pop up on a regular basis to grab a headline or three by saying something patently stupid, leaving the more moderate of their kind to shake their heads in astonished wonder and despairingly mutter to themselves, "Ah, shit. Here we fucking go again." ...

... Inevitably, the ratbags will take it upon themselves to insist they "represent the community" or are "spokespeople" for it, when essentially, they represent no one but themselves and their own hard-core adherants and whackily whacked-out admirers - a minority, in other words ... and one begging for attention, from anyone, over anything, and, preferably, all the time ...

... Most men and women of faith however are quietly content to practice and observe their beliefs in a manner and fashion that brings them comfort. That is why they chose it. They seek not to impose it on, or bother and irritate others with their beliefs, even those who may well be members of the very same club. Many Catholics will practise contraception and so they should if they so choose. George Pell's view is an irrelevancy to them. Many Anglicans have no problem whatsoever with the existence of gay men and women in their midst, and so should they not if they want. Peter Jensen rules not in their church. Many Buddhists probably get thoroughly pissed off from time to time too, and may well have had occasion to swat at a dive bombing mosquito in the dead heat of a summer night. Good for them ...

... And many Muslims would not want a bar of Sheikh Khalil Chami and Keysar Trad's absurdly stupid notions, preferring instead that both of them would simply shut the fuck up and stop making people of their faith look like a ratpack of whining, radical dickwads ...

... They, like we others of a less hysterical bent, would realise immediately that such a proposition will never be adopted or promoted by any Australian politician from any party at any time, and that it is, instead, a rather sad bleat for attention from a couple of fools, Trad having had his taste of media fame after lurking about in the fevered wake of Sheik Taj Din al-Hilali's "uncovered meat" statements of 2006 and having been reduced to public irrelevancy ever since his pal was told to fuck off and shut up ...

Unfortunately, Bolt and his sour-milk-fed creche of cretins can't see that, so enamoured are they of their own brand of ideologically driven perpetual hysteria.

It's a non-story. It'll never happen. Bet on it. Move on.

And take your meds.

SO PRETTY

Isn’t classical music pleasant? Isn’t it nice?

And classical art? Isn’t it sweet?

Quite lovely, yes ... quite ... unintrusive.

A balm for the soul in these horrid, troubled times where mankind, his ribs, and civilisation itself teeters on the brink of moral destruction and infernal, infinite purgatory ...

Pftht.

I don’t mind classical music. I even own some (though I can well do without opera, as that particularly ghastly form of singing makes me want to bash puppies). I’m quite partial to 20th / 21st century Estonian composer Arvo Pärt, for example. And classical art doesn’t bother me in the least. Landscapes and portraits and such, sweeping vistas and rolling hills and bowls of fruit and scrummy vegetables and lovingly rendered depictions of various young and old men and women, their every fold of flesh dripping delightfully with all manner of just-dicky detail. It’s all very inoffensive and unthreatening really, isn’t it?

Poncing about on the innyweb the other day, I landed at the London Review of Books and began reading a few articles (as one does), this one to be precise, and was struck by a comment from the reviewer ...

“As an apprenticeship in dissidence, a childhood sacrificed to classical music is hard to beat. Classical music is always acceptable to authority because it cannot overtly challenge power with subversive ideas or disturbing representations. Parents and states know they are on safe ground when their children or subjects are playing Mozart or Schubert – and enjoying it.”

Halle-fucking-lujah.

And so it is with visual art. Thus, Bill Henson was not acceptable to authority, and should not be acceptable to us who do not regard ourselves as authorities, authority in this case resting only in one professional paranoid hysteric, and two of the nation’s most ridiculously populist creative typists who continue (mistakenly) to refer to themselves as “journalists”.

Therefore, Hetty Johnston and Andrew Bolt and Miranda Devine, may I say to you all with deep and heartfelt sincerity, from the very bottom of my soul ...

Suck it up, cunts.

SIX BUCKS. SEVEN CENTS.

When Andrew Bolt rails against Australian government film-funding (as he is often wont to do), he never fails, much like his ideological compatriots Gerard Henderson or Michael Duffy, to point out that a particular film or other is “taxpayer-funded”, the inference being that, each year, hundreds, if not thousands of your hard-worked-for wage dollars are being untimely ripped from your pay packets to subsidise the peculiar hobbies of the lunatic left-wing fringe of elitists and intellectuals that comprise the “fillum-making” community ...

... As far as “elitists and intellectuals” are concerned, I suspect Bolt has never sat down for a chat with a gaffer or a boom-operator. I also suspect that if he were to call Bryan Brown, Colin Friels, John Howard or David Fields an “elitist” to their faces, that those particular individuals would simply haul back and tear him a new one ...

But first, a few statistics ...

"In 2006–07, government funding represented 17 per cent of the total funding for Australian produced and co-produced feature films in production ... In 2006–07, the FFC (Film Finance Corporation Australia) invested $76.1 million in ... new film and television projects ... The total production value of these projects was $195.6 million.

The Australian Government currently funds the FFC with $70.5 million annually."

And a few more statistics ...

"In 2006, the 20 major performing arts companies ... received Australian Government base funding of $16.96 million. Australian Government funding for these companies will now rise to $22.9 m in 2008. The companies include ...

... Bell Shakespeare Company, Black Swan Theatre Company, Circus Oz, Company B, Melbourne Theatre Company, Malthouse Theatre Company, Queensland Theatre Company, State Theatre Company of SA, Sydney Theatre Company, Australian Brandenburg Orchestra, Australian Chamber Orchestra, Musica Viva Australia, Opera Queensland, State Opera of SA, West Australian Opera, The Australian Ballet, Bangarra Dance Theatre, Queensland Ballet, Sydney Dance Company and West Australian Ballet ...

Additional Australian Government funding of $36 million for the State symphony orchestras, Orchestra Victoria and Opera Australia, has already been provided separately as a result of the outcomes of the Strong Review of Orchestras."

22.9 plus 36 equals $58.9 million bucks. That’s a lot of dosh.

... Andrew Bolt never tires of rattling on about his love of opera, regularly posting clips over which he is prone to swoon of this peculiar and archaic art form. Frankly, I would rather hammer nails into my testicles with a mallet than subject myself to this form of aural torture, yet I have no problem whatsoever, nor do I have an argument against, opera companies being government funded and supported through subsidy. If opera’s your particular thing, by all means, have a nice night. Knock your fucking self out ...

But ...

... If you are going to rail against the evil spectre of government, that is to say, “taxpayer-funded” subsidies for popular entertainments, rail against it all, not just that which fails to mirror your ideological obsessions and interests or about an industry about which you know absolutely nothing ...

... Yes, we can and we often do make films that are utter rubbish, and I for one will not be queuing up at the video store for first dibs on the appallingly titled “Hey, Hey It’s Esther Blueburger”, and nor could I give a flying fuck about Bruce Petty’s latest effort in left-wing hysteria and conspiracy theories, “Global Haywire”. But then I didn’t bother with “Spiderman 3” or “Alien vs Predator” or “Disturbia” or “I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry” either and these four pieces of utter shit did quite well with the Australian movie-going public, graceful arbiters of good taste and the finer things in life that they invariably are ...

... Yet, even though I have no interest in either "Blueburger" or Petty's film, I cannot whip myself up in a lather of indignation that they may received a few bucks of taxpayer's money to be made. No filmmaker deliberately sets out to make a bad film or an unpopular one. Over a period of many years, they gather together a cast and crew, go cap in hand to everyone from the FFC to the local grocer for a few bucks worth of production money or sponsorship and, even then, there's no guarantee that their efforts will even be rewarded with a brief cinema release ("Jammed" for example). Every filmmaker desperately hopes that their product will find an audience, be lauded throughout the land and reflect the popular zeitgeist, yet, as William Goldman put it in "Adventures in the Screen Trade", in the movie business, "nobody knows anything" ...

... No matter how large or small the budget, no matter who the "stars" may be, no matter what the plot or the subject matter is, there are, simply, no guarantees that any film, anywhere, may necessarily succeed ...

... Yet Bolt, self-anointed tastemaker for the conservative masses, seems to believe that if he's not interested, if he doesn't like it, if he doesn't even like the sound of it, then it's simply not worth a pinch of shit and has no right to exist ...

The man is a fool.

... A ticket to a movie costs 15 bucks. Throw in a bag of popcorn or an icecream and a drink and you’ll enjoy a few hours in the dark for less than 25 bucks. A family of four can get in and out for maybe $100 ...

... According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, “The cinema had the highest attendance rate of all the venues and events included in the survey, with 65% of people aged 15 years and over (10,431,400 people) having been to a cinema in the 12 months before interview ... Over half (54%) of those who had visited the cinema during the 12-month period had visited at least five times.” ...

... Given that (again, according to the ABS) the population of the country currently stands at 21,304,515, that works out at roughly 48% of Australians who regularly pop off to the flicks for an eyeball massage ...

... However, “Around one in six people (16%) aged 15 years and over attended musicals and operas in the 12 months before interview in 2005-06. An estimated 2,402,000 people attended musicals and 405,700 attended operas” ...

... Not surprising really that only 1.9% of the population went to the opera considering that, if you wanted a ticket to Opera Australia’s upcoming production of “Don Giovanni” it’ll set you back anywhere from $102.00 to $246.00 ... A family of four? Well, sell the kids to the Russian mafia and you just might be able to manage it ...

... What’s all this bullshit about taxpayer-funded film-industry elites again? Why is an art form that can only attract a paltry 405,700 people in any given year so heavily subsidised by the beloved Australian “taxpayer” (Peace be upon him. And her. And you too.)? Perhaps Andrew Bolt can, at some point on his ridiculous exercise in creative typing he calls a blog, provide a justification for the benefit of us all. No doubt the clusterfuck of cretins who regularly roost there will be riveted ...

However, why the fuck should it not be subsidised? ...

... If it were not for “taxpayer funding”, or “government subsidy”, there would cease to exist in Australia any form of creative and imaginative entertainment industry at all ...

... Instead, we would all soon be reduced to getting our jollies from sitting back on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon and watching lognecked lugnuts like Wayne Carey or Barry Hall push a ball around a fucking paddock with their feet, occasionally to plant said ball between two wooden sticks in the ground. That is, when they’re not shoving glasses into the faces of their girlfriends or trying to channel Joe Pesce’s character from “Goodfellas” ...

... So, you. Yes, you. The Bolts, the Duffy’s, the Henderson’s and all you other snotty, snobbish little deriders of the most popular form of entertainment in the country. You lovers of opera, cultural connoisseurs and sippers of fine whines. Each year, each and every one of us pays 6 bucks and 7 cents so that we may have something resembling an entertainment industry, 3 bucks of which goes to film ...

... The cost of a burger with bacon and cheese (which is what I just had for lunch). That’s 1.6 cents a day. And about this, you have a problem? ...

Fuck off, you prissy little tossers.

... Perhaps you’d be far, far happier to see our hard-earned wage dollars put to use (to the tune of 200 million bucks a year) in stuffing our letterboxes with glossy pamphlets imploring us all to talk to our kids and our parents about drugs ...

... But, I suspect my father, now 80 years old, would know absolutely naught about drugs beyond the ones he gets from the doctor for blood pressure, so I think I’ll leave him in peace on that issue for now.

I might go see a movie instead.

UPDATE - I've added a few new paragraphs after the line "finer things in life that they invariably are" as the point of my argument was getting lost in the heat of the rant.

BLUDGET? BLODGET? ... IS THAT, LIKE, ONE OF THOSE BLOG THINGAMYS?

What can one say about the hapless Federal Opposition Leader Brendan Nelson, he of the disappearing eyes, that has not already been said time and time and time again?

On and on and on and on he goes, imploring the current government to do this and do that and not do something else, all the things he wishes to be done and undone being things that neither he, nor former Prime Minister John Howard, the now-flushed, previously unflushable turd in a tracksuit, had ever considered doing or undoing over the previous 11 years.

It really does beggar belief.

The man’s wetter than a thrice-used condom in a toilet bowl. Fuck off, Brendan.

Idiot.

In other news, Andrew Bolt’s just now cottoned on to the theory that fat people will kill us all. Ahem ... Well, Andrew, this little blogger right here picked up on that particular topic about a month back when a rather hysterical letter on the topic of obesity appeared in the Sydney Morning Herald.

See? Anyone could do Bolt’s job and do it a damn sight better too. So. Gis a job, eh? Come on. Gis a job. Ya lazy cunt.

Now. Let’s see ...

... As I continue in my frantic efforts to avoid the cacophony of whingeing and whining about "budget-related" topics in order to prevent a possible brain aneurysm and try instead to occupy my time with things pleasing to the eye and ear, down below is a rarely seen clip by the wonderful John Lurie and his Lounge Lizards from their 1986 album "Big Heart: Live In Tokyo"...

... Unfortunately, Lurie, who to many would be more familiar as that actor fellow from Jim Jarmusch's "Down By Law" and "Stranger Than Paradise", has not been able to perform for many a year due to a mysterious and debilitating illness, and now spends most of his time painting (sorry about this John, but no, I cannot buy one of your prints for 500 US bucks right now as I've just forked out 300 bucks for a new pair of reading glasses and the electric bill and the dentist is due next month, so I'll take a raincheck old chap. I'll give you a hoy-hoy sometime in 2015 perhaps) ...

... Anyway, this track (Lurie on sax and screams), and the clip, is an absolute corker. Play loud. Trust me ...



From 1987, The Lounge Lizards "Big Heart"

DER PROTESTUNT WURK ETTIC AKORDING TO ANDY BOLT...

See Andy at work. See Andy at play. See Andy do pretty much fuck all on any given day but regurgitate the output of others whose views happen to align with his own and do a little top ‘n’ tailing ...

Half of this announcement is good:

Insert excerpt + link

The other half, I’m afraid, may be largely cash wasted in bureaucracy and bloated salaries. For instance, after the UN’s last big “flash appeal”:

Insert excerpt + link

And:

Insert excerpt + link

And:

Insert excerpt + link

And:

Insert excerpt + link

And:

Insert excerpt + link

And:

Insert excerpt + link

Why trust so much of our aid money to such a dubious outfit, with such high overheads? Why not let Australian aid be delivered by Australians - more efficient and more to our credit? I suspect Rudd’s UN ambitions are interfering with wise decision-making on our aid money.

1 pronouncement. 1 assumption. 6 excerpts from the work of others and 6 links. 2 rhetorical questions. 1 unsubstantiated inference.

“Dis journalism ting ... It's weally hard. Me Google good but. Me most connoversial jurnalist in der country ... A-hur, hur, hur.”

Lazy cunt.

LIKE FLIES ON SHIT

From Andrew Bolt’s Herald-Sun blog ... a clusterfuck of cretins ...

Here’s Shelley ...

I had always liked the idea of a republic Australia until 9/11. It made me realise how fragile Australia is because of it’s huge land mass, resources, standard of living, and very small population. Now I’m quite happy to be part of the commonwealth. The idea that China is going to be handed the opportunity to come to our aid in any future time of stress because we no longer have protection from The British Empire as a Republic is not comforting. It may well be China that is causing our stress. I note no comment has been made by our PM on China sending weapons to Zim. Is this because he agrees with this action? Will he boycott the Olympics because of this or is murder and weapon sales to a bloodthirsty dictator worth the price for his business? Shelley (Reply) Mon 21 Apr 08 (10:39am)

Ummmmm ...

Ummmmmmm ... Shelley rings a bell alright, but bugger me if I just can’t quite put my finger on what they may well be ... Nup. I don’t recall.

Here, Ronald yearns for the days of old, days of slaves and coolies, when a man knew his place and damn well kept it ...

Australia does not need migrants from Asia, Africa, the Pacific Islands or South America. Australia needs workers from Asia, Africa, the Pacific Islands and South America, on strictly controlled, 12 month only, work visas. The huge danger to Australia is the possibility of large scale ‘silent migration’ from China, courtesy of Chairman Rudd. After all, they will ALL vote for their Comrade. ronald reagun of Brisbane (Reply) Mon 21 Apr 08 (07:32am)

Ronald finds a friend in Truthman, who yearns for the days when “The Bulletin” implored it’s readers to keep “Australia for the White Man” ...

You are dead right there brisbane and krudd intending on bringing lots of maos here !they want to take over by votes so that we will be a minority ,its scary stuff and mabey all the warnings on asians years ago was correct after all !they should have stamped out communism when they had the chance ,but companies are onto him and are starting the shutdowns and moving !cant say i blame them either ! truthman Mon 21 Apr 08 (10:32am)

And, from Jack Marx’s blog decrying the recent 20/20 Summit Conference, Richard of Malandra would like it to be known ...

Dear Chilli I would have to disagree with you about not a lot happening .Our Creat Christian Leader Kevin 07 is Revisiting every negative death thought that Little Jonney wouldn’t touch with a barge pole . the latest is euthanisa I Do not see what doctrines of death have to do with a democratic government .They Are more in common with an athiest Totalitrian system of the far left. When a society embraces Death as its culture it has passed its use by date.and is heading for extinction Richard of Malanda (Reply) Wed 23 Apr 08 (12:17pm)

What the world needs now is not love, more love, but more adjectives. I keep running out.

ANDREW BOLT’S FLYING MONKEYS ...

... give us the lowdown on some Very Important Issues ... First up, Deliverwoode of London ...

I got had probably managed pulled suggested Years later, called reaction crashing down -deliverwoode of London (Reply) Wed 16 Apr 08 (01:16pm)

? ...

!? ...

???! ...

!!!!!!?? ...

????????????? ...

??!! ... !!?? ... !!!!!!!!!! ... ???????? ...

%$%#!!?#@!!%&**!!!#&!!? ...

I have a headache.

Anyway, moving right along, Henry from Camberwell had this to get off his chest ...

Bring back the WHITE AUSTRALIA POLICY. Australia has gone down the wrong path. We need to protect our Anglo Saxon heritage. We do not need this filth in our country. It our constitution it mentions the Ayran race in which we should protect. Get rid of the Muslims they are as bad as the Jews. 14/88.- Henry Ford of Camberwell (Reply) Thu 17 Apr 08 (01:19pm)

It our constitution?

It sure is, Henry. There’s a good lad. (This post has been removed as of today, but it was certainly there in all its glory yesterday.)

Finally, Kerry of Sydney weighs in with some righteous views on the perennially troublesome topic of “The Gay Agenda” ...

... It is ignorant to believe a teenager has the physical and emotional maturity to declare sexual preference. Societies’ current permissive attitude is resulting in confusion and trauma. FACTS: There is right and wrong, normal and abnormal. Had our sons indicated, by either physical or enmotional signs, their sexuality was in question, we as parents would have sought treatment for them rather than condemn them to an abnormal existance. Homosexuals as a group have an above average incidence of depression ... - kerry of sydney Tue 15 Apr 08 (11:04am)

Let the evidence below be testament to the fact that Kerry’s boys have grown to be a couple of right thinkin’, law-abidin’, strapping young lads with nary a care in the world.

Mind you, the bloke on the right ... those stains on his shirt ...

I’m a tad ... er ... concerned.

From 1999, Tom Waits “What’s He Building In There?”