In November 2007, having clinched the Australian Federal election, Prime Minister elect Kevin Rudd in his victory speech proclaimed that he and his team may permit themselves some time to celebrate their win with a strong cup of tea and an Iced Vovo biscuit after which, celebrations would cease and they would all get down to business.
What a fun guy.
Thus was ushered into being the genesis of what may well become known as The Age of The Insufferably Prissy Little Tool (T.A.T.I.P.L.T).
Over the subsequent few months, all manner of Insufferably Prissy Little Tools have been rattling their daisy-chains at all manner of perceived ills and evils that are, apparently, holding society and civilisation at ransom, threatening the very fabric of community and communal standards at large, not to mention the minds and precious bodily fluids of "the children".
Yes, "the children". Them again.
The "children" are getting drunk and something should be done. Their parents are spending far too much time playing poker machines and "working families", that is to say, people with children are suffering terribly for it. Something should be done. And lurking behind every link on every website that anyone, especially "the children", could conceivably click lurks a million-billion-billion images of child pornography, therefore, about the internet "something should be done". And anyone who disagrees with this view is, obviously, a pervert, according to Labor Senator Stephen Conroy, the new Minister for Broadband, Communications and the Digital Economy.
Moral panic is the new black. Moral panic about anything. Anything at all.
For example, this appeared on News.com.au April 2nd, 2008 ...
HAPPY snaps of Stephanie Rice partying have been deemed too raunchy for Swimming Australia, with all of the swimmers ordered to block public access to their Facebook profile pages. Swimming Australia media director Ian Hanson confirmed the organisation had taken the step in consultation with the Beijing-bound Dolphins team management.
"It's something we had counselled them on in the past two years to be careful of," he said.
"Some of the photos were somewhat distasteful and we thought it was best that they took a bit more care."
"Shock! Horror! Young Athletes Dress Up and Have A Party!!", the byline may as well read. Distasteful? Raunchy ... ? What?
This ... ?
I've seen more raunch in a K-Mart ad for discount lingerie.
Yet, not to be outdone in the Moral Panic-Family Values-Won't Somebody Think of The Children Obsessive Compulsive Disorders that currently afflict the plague of moral guardians that so infect the commonweal these days, along comes Fucking South Australian Liberal Fucking Senator Cory Fucking Bernardi and his recent call for a GOVERNMENT INQUIRY no less, into Gordon Fucking Ramsey's Fucking "Kitchen Nightmares", a fucking television program wherein Gordon Fucking Ramsey spends a good deal of time cursing his fucking head off at a bunch of fucking blockheads who think they can run a fucking restaurant when, in fucking fact, it becomes perfectly obvious during the course of the fucking program that said fucking blockheads couldn't run a fucking tap or a fucking lap around a fucking wading pool without a fucking book of illustrated instructions. Even then, they'd fucking fail if it weren't for Gordon Fucking Ramsey screaming at them, that, if they want to get anywhere near success in their ill-advised fucking ventures, it would be best if they’d pull their fucking heads from out of their fucking arses and wake up to their fucking selves.
According to the ABC report, Fucking Senator Cory Fucking Bernardi believes there’s a “need for Federal Parliament ... to discuss how to go about establishing just what is acceptable to the community when it comes to swearing on television.”
(It’s well worth remembering at this point that Fucking Senator Cory Fucking Bernardi is a member of that same political party who, during its term in office, advocated, implemented and defended the institutionalisation of child abuse in this country as an effective means of protecting our fair shores from so-called “illegals”, that is to say, refugees, so protestations from fucking little corn pones like Fucking Senator Fucking Bernardi about declines in community standards is nothing more than breathtakingly shameless fucking hypocrisy writ very fucking large indeed. Fucking arsehole.)
Unsurprisingly, Fucking Senator Cory Fucking Bernardi insists that he’s no fucking wowser in much the same manner as a racist will insist that he’s no fucking racist, he’s just got a bit of a fucking problem with all these fucking niggers who’ve been moving into the fucking neighborhood of late.
Mercifully, Fucking Senator Cory Fucking Bernardi has promised the inquiry will be quite fucking brief. Yet the whole idea of launching an inquiry into a Scottish chef’s use of the word “fuck” and it’s variations on a television program that one may freely choose to watch or avoid has got to be up there with Liberal Senator Concetta Fierravanti-Wells’ scrutiny of Kevin Rudd’s pets toilet habits for an exercise in anal retentive time-wasting.
What a fun guy.
Thus was ushered into being the genesis of what may well become known as The Age of The Insufferably Prissy Little Tool (T.A.T.I.P.L.T).
Over the subsequent few months, all manner of Insufferably Prissy Little Tools have been rattling their daisy-chains at all manner of perceived ills and evils that are, apparently, holding society and civilisation at ransom, threatening the very fabric of community and communal standards at large, not to mention the minds and precious bodily fluids of "the children".
Yes, "the children". Them again.
The "children" are getting drunk and something should be done. Their parents are spending far too much time playing poker machines and "working families", that is to say, people with children are suffering terribly for it. Something should be done. And lurking behind every link on every website that anyone, especially "the children", could conceivably click lurks a million-billion-billion images of child pornography, therefore, about the internet "something should be done". And anyone who disagrees with this view is, obviously, a pervert, according to Labor Senator Stephen Conroy, the new Minister for Broadband, Communications and the Digital Economy.
Moral panic is the new black. Moral panic about anything. Anything at all.
For example, this appeared on News.com.au April 2nd, 2008 ...
HAPPY snaps of Stephanie Rice partying have been deemed too raunchy for Swimming Australia, with all of the swimmers ordered to block public access to their Facebook profile pages. Swimming Australia media director Ian Hanson confirmed the organisation had taken the step in consultation with the Beijing-bound Dolphins team management.
"It's something we had counselled them on in the past two years to be careful of," he said.
"Some of the photos were somewhat distasteful and we thought it was best that they took a bit more care."
"Shock! Horror! Young Athletes Dress Up and Have A Party!!", the byline may as well read. Distasteful? Raunchy ... ? What?
This ... ?
I've seen more raunch in a K-Mart ad for discount lingerie.
Yet, not to be outdone in the Moral Panic-Family Values-Won't Somebody Think of The Children Obsessive Compulsive Disorders that currently afflict the plague of moral guardians that so infect the commonweal these days, along comes Fucking South Australian Liberal Fucking Senator Cory Fucking Bernardi and his recent call for a GOVERNMENT INQUIRY no less, into Gordon Fucking Ramsey's Fucking "Kitchen Nightmares", a fucking television program wherein Gordon Fucking Ramsey spends a good deal of time cursing his fucking head off at a bunch of fucking blockheads who think they can run a fucking restaurant when, in fucking fact, it becomes perfectly obvious during the course of the fucking program that said fucking blockheads couldn't run a fucking tap or a fucking lap around a fucking wading pool without a fucking book of illustrated instructions. Even then, they'd fucking fail if it weren't for Gordon Fucking Ramsey screaming at them, that, if they want to get anywhere near success in their ill-advised fucking ventures, it would be best if they’d pull their fucking heads from out of their fucking arses and wake up to their fucking selves.
According to the ABC report, Fucking Senator Cory Fucking Bernardi believes there’s a “need for Federal Parliament ... to discuss how to go about establishing just what is acceptable to the community when it comes to swearing on television.”
(It’s well worth remembering at this point that Fucking Senator Cory Fucking Bernardi is a member of that same political party who, during its term in office, advocated, implemented and defended the institutionalisation of child abuse in this country as an effective means of protecting our fair shores from so-called “illegals”, that is to say, refugees, so protestations from fucking little corn pones like Fucking Senator Fucking Bernardi about declines in community standards is nothing more than breathtakingly shameless fucking hypocrisy writ very fucking large indeed. Fucking arsehole.)
Unsurprisingly, Fucking Senator Cory Fucking Bernardi insists that he’s no fucking wowser in much the same manner as a racist will insist that he’s no fucking racist, he’s just got a bit of a fucking problem with all these fucking niggers who’ve been moving into the fucking neighborhood of late.
Mercifully, Fucking Senator Cory Fucking Bernardi has promised the inquiry will be quite fucking brief. Yet the whole idea of launching an inquiry into a Scottish chef’s use of the word “fuck” and it’s variations on a television program that one may freely choose to watch or avoid has got to be up there with Liberal Senator Concetta Fierravanti-Wells’ scrutiny of Kevin Rudd’s pets toilet habits for an exercise in anal retentive time-wasting.
As Marieke Hardy wrote in her excellent Age column on the matter ...
“Kitchen Nightmares is dirty, it's pacey and it's engaging. And if Cory Bernardi doesn't like it, he can simply fuck off and watch something else.”
Very fine fucking advice.
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